The Bachelor: The Women Tell All

An hour ago, I was still at work blasting out e-mails to various executives.  Half an hour ago, I was running to grab my pickup order.  But now, I'm here.  I have priorities.

Another sign I'm ready to be a professional reality TV blogger: the reality TV czar, Dave Jacoby, wrote a recap of the last epsiode where he made the same points I made last week - AshLee's love of turning everything she does with Sean into a metaphor about her life, Sean's questionable kissing technique, and literally using the "serial killer" phrase like I did to describe AshLee's face after Sean sent her home.

8:01: So excited for this episode.

8:02: If you'll excuse me, I have a tradition to uphold:
We know who you are, Chris Harrison.  There's no need to introduce yourself.

8:03: Love the shout-out to Shirtless Sean.

8:04: The average age of those three girls who first met Sean was...not even close to legal.

8:07: UCLA sorority house calling for Sean to turn into Shirtless Sean was pretty awesome.

8:12: FMC Lesley looks amazing tonight.

8:20: Tierra-ist coming up!

8:25: What the hell was with the 3 seconds of behind-the-scenes action before Tierra came out?

8:26: You're never going to believe this, but the women are not a fan of Tierra.

8:27: Tierra's eyebrow just started twitching!  Is it her tell when she lies?

8:31: Um, Tierra, how about commenting on AshLee being 32 years old and single and that whole spiel?!?!?!  Did you mean that as a compliment?

8:40: "Do you want to get going?  Cuz we get going?"  Has Tierra forgotten that you do not want to unleash the fury of AshLee upon the world?  Do you not remember her Serial Killer face after Sean sent her home?

8:44: St. Croix is getting a ton of free publicity.

8:46: Tierra is not a good human being.  Straight up.

8:56: The best part of The Women Tell All is when they do the picture-in-picture when running the video montage to get the person's reaction.

9:08: Dez's brother.  Oh boy.  This should be interesting.

9:18: At least Chris Harrison has enough of a sense of humour to poke fun at how he always says the most dramatic rose ceremony ever.

9:21: "Sean has healed my broken heart."  But did Sean also break AshLee's healed heart?

9:23: "Where you pissed?"
"No."
"You looked pissed."
Chris Harrison is the best.

9:29: Chris Harrison takes control of the situation and fixes the AshLee/Sean seating arrangement.  That's why he's the best.  How does he not have an Emmy?

9:35: Can we call this the most fascinating The Women Tell All in Bachelor franchise history?  That AshLee/Sean conversation was mesmerizing.

9:40: Lovin' the behind the scenes shot.  I knew there was a reason they started doing that.

9:45: When Chris Harrison wrapped up the segment and wished Sean the best, did anyone else feel like clapping along with the audience?  No?  Um, me neither.

9:52: OK, but seriously, how are Catherine and the wedding dress girl the final two?

10:00: My finally take on the AshLee situation - Sean did not say that and AshLee misinterpreted what she said.  Let's face it - AshLee isn't all there.  She likely "chose to hear what she wanted to hear" and twisted a few of Sean's words.  Don't forget - in every interview since about the fourth episode, Sean has been saying that he has strong feelings for numerous women.  Why would he suddenly say anything else?  Unless it was to get some crazy AshLee action.  Hmmm...

10:37: Actual messages I'm getting from someone, who will remain anonymous because of how horrendous the following statements are: "Wouldn't mind seeing Tierra's boobs.  The crazier she got, the more I wanted her to bust them out."  This person should be ashamed.  Tierra is completely unattractive solely because of her personality/character.  She's like an androgynous, horrible person to me.  In the infamous words of Selma, "You're going to wife that?"